I Vow…

Anxiety…. my problem, and this problem is continuous. This problem has been there for a couple of years and sometimes it good and sometimes it’s bad. It’s like a little worm wiggling it’s way into me and it’s hard to get at and take it out.

This past week has been exactly that, a wiggly worm that’s slowly found its way in during the course of the week and the last couple of nights I have snapped. Anxiety sucks!!

Anxiety is also a dick (excuse my French) it ruins everything, it ruins relationships and it ruins me! There’s been countless times where Ive ruined things because of my anxiety. All the tiny little things that ‘normal’ people would never think or even take a second glance at build up inside my head and eat away until I become this anxiety filled Sophie robot!! I’ve got to the point where  I’m in too deep and I find myself saying ‘I don’t care‘ or ‘I can’t do it anymore’ and that’s not the right attitude for a 19 year old that has everything going for her!!

I’m scared, so scared…The one thing I’m scared about is loosing the people I love. Of course my family fits into that bracket but there’s that one special person who I literally can’t live without. And I’m scared I will loose him.

So after to countless crying sessions, endless panic attacks and asking the same question over and over again it’s time to change, and I have vowed from this day on that I will:

– not cry as much (literally I cry loads!) I need to start being strong! The bet is on! 😉 

– smile everyday – someone once told me that smiling is contagious.

– keep positive and not think the worst of things – I realise I do this constantly and it’s only pushing people away. Positive thoughts always help!

– talk to the people who love and support me about my problems – ive come to realise that they are there for you no matter what!

Now ive said this I know I have to stick to it.  I’ve tried the techniques and followed the instructions on what to do by the oh so scary doctors, but non of it has worked. So it’s time to self medicate, follow my own rules and instructions! Starting from today…..

Yours truly

Sophie x

Opportunities

Life gives you many opportunities and its up to you whether you take them or not. You are the God in your life, you control it. As my dad used to say ‘life gives you doors, you close one and another one opens.’ And ultimately its up to you whether you take the opportunities life throws at you.

I have always strived to take and opportunity that has been presented to me, many of these have been within dance. From a young age I have always been included in the world of dance. I took Ballet lessons at a young age and then swiftly moved onto acrobatics. As I got older my dance style changed and I was interested in more fast, staccato and ‘hip-hop’ style dance.

When I was 12 I joined Bradford City club as a cheerleader and stayed on for about a year. I fell in love with the dance style and I haven’t stopped since. After a while at Bradford City I had to quit because of the money. It was too expensive and my heart broke when I had to quit.

About a year later me and my friend found a new group based near where we lived and decided to join. I had forgot how much I loved cheerleading and I began to progress within that group. Now when I say cheerleading I know your all picturing short skirts, crop tops, blonde, skinny girls that squeal and say ‘Give me a U, Give me an A’ blah blah blah. But believe it or not cheerleading in the UK is completely different to America. For one we are more reserved and its more about the dance side of things.

Anyway the company grew as I grew up and I got the opportunity to join to competition team. Naturally I took this offer because I knew it would give me amazing opportunities and most importantly memories. I stayed with the competition many years and helped our troupe win a national championship title, & first place trophies in one competition and the company even got a TV programme.  I met many awesome people, people who I would count as friends for life, but unfortunately I had to leave for education purposes. But as I said at the beginning of this blog post. Life gives you many opportunities.

Being at that cheer company allowed me to get my Coaches award (level 1) and that then allowed me to get a job teaching young children cheerleading in schools, which was a great opportunity. As well as this I’ve been in to  Guide groups and taught mini classes. I’ve even choreographed two full length feature shows.

Dance has got me places in my life and now I’m enjoying doing an A-Level at my school. Dance is something I want to spend my life doing and someday I hope to open my own business. If there’s one thing that my career in dance has taught is to follow your dreams and the opportunities life throws at you because in the end you may get something pretty decent out of it.

A bit of an insightful post into my life and hopefully this post has inspired you to take the opportunities thrown at you!
(I realise I’ve said the word opportunities a lot but you could always make it into a game. Take a shot every time I said it ;), promise you, it’ll be great!)

Yours truly

Sophie x

A bit of interior design? Maybe?

I am moving house in a couple of weeks and my brain is thinking all things interior, from what bed I want, to colour schemes and the choice of wallpaper or not. This gave me some inspiration for a blog post, I thought it would be nice to put some ideas below on every aspect for a grown up, stylish bedroom. Now my choices may not be everyones cup of tea but Im sure there are many other choices/ compromises.

Everybody loves a feature wall, whether thats with paint or wallpaper. I chose to include a purple wallpaper but you can choose any colour or pattern you like! (See compromises!) Pair it with white walls and there you have a feature wall.

Next is bed. Go with a simple bed frame, you can go with anything you like. Wooden, iron, leather but don’t let it take too much attention away from the accented wall. I went with a iron fame double bed.

Now it’s time for the furniture! Depending on what you like you and already have make sure they all match. Seen as I’ve chosen a white bed, go with white furniture. Maybe go for a dishevelled look! Aged furniture is always cute!

Other furniture you could include, White whicker laundry basket, end of bed storage box, lamps. For them windows, floor length curtains are cute, pair them with a window blind.

Accessories are always amazing although simple and sparse can sometimes be the best option!
Frames
Jewellery Box
Mirror
Candles
and so on….

Basically designing your room is based on what you like and what your preferences are! Design your room how you want it and always remember that a bedroom is a place to relax! Your safe heaven!

Yours truly

Sophie x

A day in my life…

Today I decided to do something different for the post. Check out my Vlog below of my oh so interesting day! Hope you like it my different take on a blog post. 🙂

Yours Truly

Sophie x

Manchester Haul

I get told time and time again by many people that I always get new stuff, that being clothes or general things but I’m the one thats saved up in order to buy said items. However on rare occasion my mum has been known to splash some cash. Today being that very day. As I have been rather ill recently and some important dates my mum decided to take a day of work and take me to Manchester to do a little bit of shopping. This trip to do some shopping also gave me an idea for a post, a haul post is much needed because If I do say so myself I did pick up some cute items. (Such a girly comment)

First stop Hollister. Everyone knows I am a fan of the brands and a sucker for a bargain, but high brands don’t offer such cheap prices. But today was my lucky day when Hollister had a sale on! (I just couldn’t help myself!) So after some much needed help by a very nice gentlemen I was soon in the changing room trying on many pairs of skinny jeans.

These jeans are the thicker skinny jeans and were on sale for £29. I know that doesn’t sound cheap to some people but when you look at the original price of £54 you gotta grab em’.

Next stop New Look… Now I originally went in there looking for a cute dress for an upcoming wedding but had no such luck finding said item so instead I ended up looking at handbags (cliche I know) Earlier this week I had said to Danny that I wanted a new handbag and hoped to persuade my mum. I did manage to persuade thy mother to buying me my new handbag but only by the power of bribing her with £2.04 left on a gift card, Student discount and £5 extra! Mum – 0 Sophie – 1

It’s a spacious bag with a big inside. A zip pocket inside for them keep safe items and a phone pocket (big enough for an iPhone). It cost £22.99.

By then It was time for lunch and as we was searching for somewhere to eat, I smelt the most wonderful, luscious, sweet scent that I always crave! I knew what shop was coming up and If by magic my feet veered right and walked straight into THE YANKEE CANDLE SHOP!!!! (I LUUUUUUUUURVE CANDLES!!) I couldn’t help myself from sniffing all the scents (I realise I sound like a junky, get over it!) and finally I settled on a scent!

Red Raspberry, It smells sweet but subtle and not over bearing. T-lights from Yankee Candle Shops cost £6.99.

After eating some delicious pizza and Pizza Hut we carried on shopping in order to walk of the calories that, lets face it we inhaled. (yummy!) We then stopped by Select. It didn’t look very promising to begin with until I ventured to the back of the shop and saw this cheeky little number.

What you can’t see from the picture is that its an oversized t-shirt/ hoodie that is loose fitting. I thought it would be perfect for dancing and just had to buy it! It cost £10.99.

By the time we had finished in Select we had been in Manchester for around 4 hours and I was getting tired and my feet were killing me (I know I sound old and pathetic, but take into consideration I have been Ill for a while) So we decided to drop by one last shop. This shop is renowned for how busy it is simply because of it’s cheap prices. Busy places, small spaces makes Sophie one anxious person. Primark (insert dramatic dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun) I hate Primark, It’s one of them in-between shops, you can either find lots of cute little things or find nothing at all. Today I happened to stumble along something that I could not refuse.

BATGIRL PYJAMAS!!!!!!! If you’ve followed my blog from the beginning you will know that I am obsessed with all things Batman and this new PJ set fuels the obsession! I couldn’t just leave them sat on the shelf when they were screaming ‘SOPHIE BUY ME, BUY ME!!!’ and that I did, well my mum did! Mum – 0 Sophie – 2.

All in all I had a very good day with my mum and I am very thankful that she bought me all these lovely new things and I would never ever take that for granted! Hope you had/ have a wonderful day like I did!!

Yours truly

Sophie x

50 Shades of Shit

Today is the day I wasted 2 hours of my existence in a cinema watching 50 Shades of Shit! Here’s to my review….

I shall start from the very beginning (Waddup Mary Poppin’s reference) When these books first got published I have to admit I was a bit skeptical to jump on the 50 Shades bandwagon and become a follower of the franchise. I was young and to be quite honest with you a rather embarrassed to be reading such a raunchy book! But I bought the book and amazingly raced through all three books within a couple of weeks. I loved the story line (as I’ve said before in a previous post – not the sex) I loved the characters and how both the main characters developed and changed over time AND most importantly I loved the connection between Anastasia and Christian.

Alas…. I am not here to review the books, I am here to review the film that has just been released. I have to admit something here, I did indulge in reading/ watching some reviews that other people had made and I really shouldn’t of done that. It put a ‘debby downer’ on my mood for the film in general. The books were poorly written but I still loved them. The film however I did not.

It was POOR! I’m glad I didn’t pay for it (Thanks Danny – Love you) and I have wasted two hours of my life which I could’ve used on something more productive. But If I hadn’t of watched this film I would not be bringing you this post! Lets start with the good aspects (simply because it’s a very short list) The cinematography and lighting was great, well thought out and created the mood. And that Ladies and Gentlemen is the end of the good list.

I hope your sat comfortably because this is hella of a long list.

Character connections – ZILCH
Character development – Minimal
Running time – TOO LONG
Boring
What you see is what you get…
Didn’t really need to be an 18, you see tits in Titanic and thats a 12
Didn’t live up to expectations of the books
You see both sides of the story (no inner ear dialogue of thoughts and feelings)
Bland
Could’ve been a comedy with the dialogue that was involved and the way the actor’s portrayed the characters
The whole story played around them when in the books you had other little plots… For example Jose and Ana, Paul the shop assistant, Paul’s dad… You see nothing else that contributes towards Ana as a person

I seriously could go on and on but I wouldn’t want to bore you with it…

In conclusion, this is just a film about a man who likes to hurt and abuse women for his own pleasure, there is some hint right at the end of the film of some sort of feelings but thats about it… and in my opinion complete opposite to the books. It’s boring and do you know how I know this, Danny fell asleep half way through it!!! It lacks everything a good films has and seriously isn’t worth the time or the effort.

Yours truly

Sophie x

A special guest post

Show me somebody who doesn’t enjoy video games and I’ll show you an invisible cat. Personally, they’ve been a part of my life for about 16 years, and I have many favourites, many stories, and more importantly… enough to fill a blog post!

I may as well start off with my favourite game of all time – Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. I was 15 when I first played it, and I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered from the sheer rush of adrenaline I felt whilst fighting helicopters, playing cat and mouse with a tank, exploring a Tibetan ice cave, and generally being a badass Indiana Jones-meets-Tomb Raider treasure hunting smooth talking artifact thief.

The story and characters are sublime, the game is perfectly paced, and the multiplayer is still one of the best around. If you haven’t played it yet…. play it!

Speaking of multiplayer, one of the obvious joys of gaming is playing with others (not like that). When I’m not losing to Sophie at Mario Kart, I’m dressing in silly costumes in LittleBigPlanet, popping head shots in Call of Duty, and hunting badgers (unsuccessfully) in Far Cry 4. When I first got my PS1 back in 1998, multiplayer was but an unheard of feature, with most games not embracing even simple couch co-op. Skip ahead a decade, and the tables have turned – multiplayer reigns over single player. This is most obvious when you look at the ridiculous multiplayer mode that Arkham Origins – the third entry in the single player Batman franchise – received.

Yet, even if it feels tacked on, it’s all so much fun! Would you rather go bowling, or to a restaurant, or swimming, by yourself? Of course not! Multiplayer brings everybody together, even hardenened non gamers like my mother, who absolutely loves a bit of Mario Kart.

All this aside, I think the reason games continue to grow and evolve is that they transport us to different worlds, to places and experiences we would never get in real life. And – unlike the movies that do the same – WE get to play the hero.

And that’s all I have on the matter! Thanks to Sophie for letting me be a guest writer, and thanks for not killing me for being a day late 😆

As far as my other online endeavours are concerned, you can find me on the Twitter thingy @danifye, and I upload slightly oddball gaming videos on my YouTube channel,

http://bit.ly/1Dn9BpL – Youtube Channel
https://twitter.com/danifye – Twitter

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have an awesome day!

My AS English coursework

So I thought I would do something different today and enlighten you with some information that no one really knows! I like to write, like really really like to write, I used to write short stories when I was younger about my weird ass dreams I had (still have, I mean some of them are just crazy!!) Anyway for my AS coursework I decided to write a story opening based on one of my favourite books – Interview with a Vampire and also a guilty pleasure of mine because I love vampire books (weird I know!) So here it is! Enjoy!

Mia

What I saw before was different to what I had seen in that bar, it looked like something that could only come from my dreams. Yet I was still fascinated by it, but then again I’ve always been fascinated. Ever since I was a little girl. Constantly reading books, and watching films. Reading different authors perspectives on the same creature. It was amazing how different people see the same thing in different ways. Although I knew they couldn’t really exist, something deep down inside me knew they did, and that something has been itching to find one. By chance one just happened to be in a bar that I wasn’t going to be in. Something drew me to this place and I was going to find out, whether I like it or not.

As I stood and studied this man it occurred to me that what I had read in books, the predictions authors had made, were true. The tall dark man before me was very handsome, his jawline perfectly sculptured. His skin was white like snow and looked equally as cold. His hair was a rich golden blonde and rather ratty but at the same time looked graceful. His body looked firm and tensed, like he was fighting the urge to stop himself from doing something drastic. When I looked up at his face he was staring at me. Those eyes… well those eyes were beautiful, the grey mixed with a hint of green. They were mesmerizing. I could look at them all day. His clothes were gothic Victorian yet they suited him perfectly, just like the aristocrats of their time.

“Why are you here?” It shocked me; his voice was so deep and commanding I didn’t know what to say. I knew he was waiting for an answer but he just stared at me and kept staring, like he was looking into my soul. To tell you the truth it freaked me out!

“Answer me girl!” he said with such anger.

“Why do you use that tone?” I asked, I knew it would be wrong to cross a vampire but hey, what have I got to live for!

“I know what you are, and I’m not afraid” I said with such diligence. I began to study his stern expression trying to predict what he was going to say.

“So, what am I?” his right eyebrow arched upwards and a mischievous smile grew on his face. He already knew my answer so why did he ask? Is he testing me?

“You’re…. You’re a vampire”. Crap! I knew he saw the flaw in what I had just said. I showed fear. But I knew it wasn’t fear of him. It was the fear of my future.

“Admirable, you are of a high intelligence…I know a great deal about you Mia St’Clare. I know who you are, your past, and your family. Please don’t try and cross me, it could end very badly for you”. I knew from how he said that sentence that he was telling the truth. It’s weird but ever since I got the news that my book would be published, I felt someone watching me. That niggling feeling in the back of your head, seeing shadows out of the corner of your eye. Freaky. But of course like any sane person, I shrugged it off.

“How?” I was confused and that annoyed me. I hate feeling like this, so insecure and powerless. I wanted to know how he knew all of this. I wanted to beat him at his own evil game.

“I’ve been around for many long tedious centuries, I have my ways.” He said with a devilish grin on his face. A chill ran down my spine, he looked so evil yet handsome. This is a wicked circle to be involved in!

“So you were spying on me?” I said with a hint of cheekiness.

“Yes I was. Although I have a specific reason for this”. Hmm well this is intriguing. I know I’m falling into a vicious circle, even more. Digging a deeper hole only for me to try and crawl out of at the end.

“I need your help!” he looked like he regretted to say that. He saw the new expression on my face and began to move closer to me. His mischievous smile began to form again, this time baring his fangs. Oh this is not good!

“I know what your profession is so don’t try and get out of this.” He saw the fear crawl back into my expression, he stopped moving and his smile faded. It almost looked like I hurt him somehow.

“I’m not going to hurt you so you have no need to be so fearful… My name is Louis Almond Godric” He bowed low and graceful. I felt the need to curtsy but I didn’t, I just stood there in awe of how graceful he was. Oh god, this can’t be happening!

“You want me to write a book about you?” Great! I was hoping for a holiday!

“Yes”. Plain and simple, so unlike the stories I have read from over the years. He seemed so different from what I had read in the stories. I read of vicious and bloodthirsty vampires that liked to rid the land of all human existence. Leaving bone dried bodies along the way, not stopping until they were at the very top. As well as towns where vampires and human could live together, but that came with great sacrifices. Yet never of a friendly vampire, that wanted me to write a book about him. He took a step towards me so he was right in my face. Far too close for comfort, move Mia move!

Louis

I stood and took in every detail of this human that was standing before me. She stood there with such vigour, so beautiful in her own plain way, yet I knew she was scared. Her long auburn hair hung down over her face to hide her fearful expression. I didn’t want that. All I want is to be accepted! I need a society that doesn’t grab it’s pitch forks and torches at the sight of a vampire and try and erase my existence to save their own pathetic little lives.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked trying not to bare my fangs.

“Whether I’m going to die right now or in the not too distant future!”

I wish I knew what she was thinking. As we stood there in this dark room I saw many emotions flicker through her face. Although I couldn’t read her mind, like other vampires, I still couldn’t have predicted what happened next. She ran. I ran after her. It didn’t take much effort of course because I am a vampire. What human could out run us? We’re the superior race! She could die in the matter of mere seconds. I grabbed her by the neck and threw her against the wall and pinned her there.

“You shouldn’t have run, little Mia”. I bared my fangs and I could feel the darkness crawl out of me.

“Let go of me!!” she kicked and screamed. Puny human, you should save your energy. You can’t get out. I felt the darkness take over, creeping through every inch of my body. Crawling through my veins and taking over. I didn’t want this. God help me! Save this women’s soul! I have to fight this… this urge.

Well there it is my coursework. I got a decent grade for it and I was quite pleased with the outcome. I hope you liked reading it.

Yours Truly

Sophie x

My list of must see films of 2015

Now I know this post is a little late seen as it’s February and the second month of 2015 but I am known to procrastinate a little (especially with homework – I’m a last minute kinda gal!) But here it is my list of MUST SEE FILMS OF 2015!

1.  Fifty Shades of Grey – STOP! Right there I know what your thinking (you perves) a teenage girl going to see a film thats about kinky stuff and sex and is probably just going to get a kick out of it because the male population of this world is calling it ‘Female Porn’. BUT NO! I am not going to see that film for that reasons, I have been a fan since the beginning when the books were released and I read and enjoyed each one of the books – not because of the sex – but for the story line. I enjoyed reading about the characters and how the characters grow, mature and change throughout the series! I for one am looking forward too seeing this film.

2. Jurassic World – I am sceptical about this film because of the trailer reviews I have watched (granted I shouldn’t of watched them because it spoils it) but they have given some interesting points on what as been shown. But nevertheless I am a fan of this franchise and to be honest I love dinosaurs (they fascinate me – geeky I know!) Looking forward to seeing this!

3. Avengers: Age of Ultron – I AM SO EXCITED for this film. I can’t wait to see whats going to happen and the trailers give so little information but enough to make you excited and looking forward to the release. Another plus would be that I get to see Robert Downey Jr. in another films (sexy!)

4. Spectre (James Bond) – Hmmmm…. To tell you the truth le boyfriend told me to add this to the list. I do not like Daniel Craig as James Bond (Personally I love Pierce Brosnan – now he is sexy!) But yet again I have to say it is a must watch simply because of the franchise plus everyone is going to be looking forward too it. Also I love the amazing weapons and gadgets they get!

5. Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens – Again not really excited for this one and not really a fan of the franchise either! (please don’t hurt me!) Not my kinda genre but I will go see it, simply because everyone will and sadly watching the Star Wars franchise is on my bucket list.

6. Minions – OMG SO EXCITED!!! I love these cute little yellow things and I’m glad they got a spin off film. They never fail to make me laugh in the Despicable Me movies and I love the fact that the creators gave them there own language! Also there obsession with bananas is cute!

7. Insidious: Chapter 3 – I am sad that this film is not directed by my favourite director JAMES WAN! Yet I am still excited to see this film, I love the horror genre and I love this franchise. Although I am worried about the way this film is going. The trailer I feel gave a little too much away and It’s looking like we’ll get the same old jump scares, but WHO CARES! I LOVE IT

8. Terminator Genisys – YES, YES, YES, YES! Can’t wait, I love the terminator franchise and the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a total BADASS!!!!! I’m glad he’s got a part in this film and I am hoping that this film is going to be better them Terminator Salvation because I did not care for that film. Plus It gives a totally different view on the timeline of Sarah Connor.

Well there you go, my list of must see films of 2015… Make of it what you will, you may have different opinions but there’s my opinion.

Yours truly

Sophie x

Early Valentines present

We all know that February is the month of luuuuuurrrvvvvveeeee 😉 and Valentine’s Day is quickly creeping up on us all (or for those with partners). A couple of weeks back I purchased some tickets for me and the fella to go see his favourite DJ. Mr Oliver Heldens!! It was an amazing night, 6 hours of constant dancing!

It started of with a train journey to the wonderful city of leeds! For 8 o clock at night on a Thursday the train was surprisingly empty! I did do some dancing in the Isle to get warmed up for the night ahead, but sadly you shall not be seeing that! (Embarrassing!!)
When we arrived in leeds we practically ran to TGI Friday’s it was so cold!!

I love TGI Friday’s it’s one of my favourite restaraunts! Wagamamas in second place!! We ordered our drinks and food and chowed down!

I got my favourite drink. Granny Smith Apple Martini (seriously it’s delicious!! Check it out, it’s not on the menu)

After that we walked on over to the O2 Academy and joined the queue. We didn’t queue long which was awesome! 30 minutes later we was inside and buying some drinks!

The concert started around 10:30. Supporting Dj’s came on and the crowd started filling up. We got a decent spot, second row from the front. Around 12, Oliver Heldens special support act came on, Mr Belt & Wezol.

They kept dishing out some awesome mixes and the crowd was loving it! There set list lasted an hour and a half. Then it was time for the one and only!

OLIVER HELDENS!!!!!

(Bit of a crappy picture, I got it from a video)

The crowd went mental as he dished out track after track. I loved each and every minute, got amazing videos and some bruises (seriously I was so squeeshed, so many people pushing in)
Luckily I had my handsome boyfriend to save me from being elbowed in the face!! (Hate being small)

Hours went by but it only felt like minutes. It finished at 3:30 in the morning. Danny’s father picked us up and we got home around 5 in the morning. I have to say I was quite tired the next day!!

Then as we was on the way home I got a notification and Oliver Heldens had favourited my tweet!!

But… AMAZING concert and I’m glad I bought the tickets for Danny! (Early valentines present) it was his first concert since blue at party in the park and I’m glad I was the one to take him.

Yours truly

Sophie x